Soccer: Offside ^#$@!(?

We've been watching World Cup soccer. We never watch soccer, but this is special, right? Alas, that %#&@!? offside rule is confusing. I think I got it right, now ... maybe: >> I kick the ball toward the goal >>A teammate is the closest person to the goal     (other than the opposing goalie) >>My team mate is offside.     (If he scores, it won't count.) On the other hand >> If the closest team mate receives the ball ONSIDE     he can then move to the goal (with the ball) and score. So why is soccer the most popular spectator sport on the planet? It usually ends up with a total score of, roughly, 1.23. (That's some kind of average, I think.) Hmmm ... maybe because (unlike basketball) getting a goal is a world-shaking event. Maybe because (unlike baseball), kids can play with just a ... uh ... ball. It sorta reminds me of the days when Heidi and I went mushroom hunting. If we wandered through the woods for hours and found a bushel of these, that was nice: Aah, but if we spent hours and found just one of these: MAMMA MIA!